Here’s to you: Christian t-shirts

In war, a soldier must wear his armor. In the throws of battle, one must be able to identify friend from foe.

Enter the Christian t-shirt.

Blasting out the message of faith in full silk-screen style, you were masterpieces of poly-cotton blend art. Classy and thought-provoking, you challenged t-shirt readers everywhere with the full out, robust message of the gospel by stabbing their hearts with phrases as keen as, “Body piercing saved my life.”

You made teenage “Jesus Freaks” everywhere culturally relevant with cleverly designed slogans that mimicked real product logos. Your sly style proved to us that the name of Jesus would look good not only on a Coca Cola can but also a Reeses peanut butter cup.

With a sense of chic that broke down the walls of the upper echelons of fashion, we Christians were now able to wear designer brands such as “Abreadcrumb & Fish.”

The Bible may say, “they will know us by our love”, but you, pre-shrunk knitted tract, let them know by branding it on our chest. By your faithful message we were able to remind the person standing next to us that, “In case of Rapture, you can have this t-shirt.” Thank you, because poignant thoughts such as these were crucial to our evangelism strategy.

Most importantly, you gave us an identity. Walking the locker-strewn hallways of the high school jungle, you, Christian t-shirt, stood out as a beacon of hope for all who attended youth group on Wednesdays. You sent a warm feeling of togetherness into the hearts of fellow Christian shirt wearers; your warm and inviting stylized crosses shining out into the darkness of youthful decadence.

May we never forget the debt of gratitude we owe you for your service.

Here’s to you Christian t-shirts!

P.S. If you have no clue what this post is about, check out the first one! Or read the others on : Ska Music, and Church camp romance.

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